Posted by: thisinfertilelife | February 5, 2010

Shudder to Think

Just the thought of jumping back into ART makes me physically ill.  Here’s how my thought process goes:

  1. Maybe I’ll have a miracle pregnancy without medical intervention because now my body “knows what to do.”  This is what happens, right?  Right?!
  2. Probably not.
  3. Okay, I have to convince my husband not only that he wants another child, but that he wants another child badly enough to go through ART again.  (Bang head against wall.)
  4. He’ll never agree to this.  He’ll remind me how crazy, frustrated, upset, sad and angry I was during that phase in our lives.  I’ll tell him this time would be different because now we have the twins and no matter what happens, we will always have the twins.  But would it really be different?
  5. I would have to schedule a regroup appointment with the RE.  What’s the point?  I know exactly what he would say.  We have to redo all of the testing (cha-ching) and then get on the schedule for an FET (tick-tock).  (Bang head harder against wall.)
  6. We have 9 frozen blasts that were conceived at the same time as our twins.  All 11 embryos at the time were the top grade given by our clinic and the embryologist even had trouble picking out the best two.  How many would we thaw at once?  (Head spins.)
  7. What are the chances of an FET working with a transfer of only a single blast?  I love my twins, but I do NOT want another twin pregnancy and another set of twins.  Yikes.
  8. The FET(s) probably won’t work.  On to new fresh IVF cycles.  We’d have to consider doing the shared risk program again.  (Brain damage.)

I can’t even think beyond that point.  How badly do I want this???  Am I crazy?

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Responses

  1. That sounds like a really tough decision. You have so many things working for you. But it’s ART, you know. It’s not fun.

    I hope the answers come to you.

    And you’re not crazy 🙂


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