Posted by: thisinfertilelife | February 26, 2010

WTF

Last night one of the doctors from my OB office called to talk about the ultrasound.  She wasn’t exactly optimistic, but she said she wanted to stay “a little positive” and go ahead and schedule an ultrasound for next week.  She said even if the blood work didn’t look good, she didn’t want to rely on numbers (as they’ve tricked her in the past) and would rather confirm by ultrasound.  She also said that even though the structures (gestational sac, yolk sac, and fetal pole) were measuring a week behind based on my dates, they were all shaped perfectly.  In some cases, you are able to see the gestational sac collapsing on itself when miscarriage is imminent.  Of course, this doesn’t provide any answers yet, but just put a little hope back in my heart.  Dammit.

And tonight I got the call with results of the blood work.  HCG = 35,447 and Progesterone = 30.5.  Based on my calculations from the last beta on Feb 10th (230), perfect doubling every 48 hours would result in an HCG of 29,440.  The nurse said my levels had “risen appropriately” and we’ll see what happens at next week’s ultrasound.

So I’m left thinking “what the fuck?” and wondering what this all means.  I just don’t want to be given false hope.

Thanks for all of your kind words.  Even when I wasn’t able to hope (and I’m still scared of feeling what little hope I do have), your words have given me comfort.  It helps to know others can hope freely on my behalf.

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Responses

  1. I hope your “one-week-wait” passes quickly and the ultrasound gives you a definite answer. And one with a thriving little one. Many hugs.

  2. Hugs and hope from me to you.

  3. Wow! Stay in this hopeful place – seriously. This is good. Thinking of you and really hope this week flies for you!

  4. This is crazy! You must be going nuts. Hang in there…we can only wait and hope now, right?

  5. speaking from someone who had that craptastic ultra sound where we discovered that the baby stopped growing at 5 weeks, I will share what it looked like, colapsing sac, no pole, no yolk, nothing and the beta was a huge 5. five. so those numbers, really do keep me hopeful for you.
    hugs.

  6. I’m so sorry you’re going through this. For me, the limbo of not knowing was in some ways even harder than the reality. I hope, and will pray, that you see a viable pregnancy when you go back next week.

    Hugs


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